primal

Carrot Cake Muesli Bars (gluten free. dairy free. vegan. nut free)

Muesli Bars. They are usually the things that are grabbed from the supermarket shelf because they look ‘healthy’ or they are ‘organic’ or the have some super fab label that tricks us into thinking that these are actually a legit form of nourishment. They’re usually not. Mostly they are loaded with preservatives, stabilisers, crappy vegetable oils & $hit tins of sugar masquerading as a health food bar. These homemade bad boys require slightly more effort than grabbing some from the shops but they are tasty, nutrient dense and freeze really well so I suggest making a double batch to pop in the freezer for later on!

I have used oats in mine, I grabbed the gluten-free ones from the health food shop but if you want to sub out the oats you can swap them for quinoa flakes, more puffed brown rice or puffed amaranth. Whatever spins your tyres. Hemp seeds are a fab source of protein and omega fats 3, 6 & 9 and are loaded with antioxidants. I get THESE ONES. Tahini is a bloody top source of calcium and is also a great nut-free option but you can sub that for any other sort of nut butter you fancy. Don’t like carrot? Use grated apple or pear instead. No biggy. You can basically choose your own adventure here, add in other dried fruit, nuts, coconut, seeds, choc chips, you get the jist. You do you.

If you watch my instagram stories you will know the tragedy that befell these bars as I was carrying them very poorly to photograph them…. They ended up all over the floor, smashed, squashed, broken, much like my heart at the time from seeing good food go to waste. LUCKILY I had just finished mopping the floors so they were all clean & I managed to save some of them. Then I had to make another batch for the kid and as you can see below I added some pumpkin & sunflower seeds to that because I was feeling adventurous. These would also make cracking cookies if you just wanted to form them into cookie shapes and bake until golden brown.

gluten-free-muesli-bars

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Carrot Cake Muesli Bars

Servings 15 squares

Ingredients

  • 3/4 cup mashed banana (or 2 eggs)
  • 3/4 cup coconut oil/butter/ ghee
  • 1/2 cup tahini (or other nut butter)
  • 1/4 cup honey/ maple syrup/ rice malt syrup
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 pinch salt
  • 1 cup oats
  • 1 cup grated carrot
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 cup hemp seeds
  • 2 cups puffed brown rice
  • 1/4 cup cranberries (optional)

Instructions

  1. Preheat your oven to 170C. Line a baking tray with baking paper. 

  2. Melt together the honey, vanilla, tahini & coconut oil. Once that has all melted, add in the mashed banana & stir well then set aside.

  3. In a large bowl add all the remaining ingredients and mix well to combine. Pour over the wet mixture and mix well until completely combined. 

  4. Pour into your baking paper lined tray and bake for 50-60 mins until golden on top. Remove from the oven and allow to cool on a baking rack. 

  5. Once it has cooled to room temperature, transfer to the fridge to set for at least 4 hours before slicing. If you try and slice it straight away it will crumble all over the place. Don't say I didn't warn you. Once it's sliced you can store in the fridge for up to a week or in the freezer for up to 3 months. 

Festive Ice Cream (paleo. keto)

The Keto diet is being bandied about left, right and centre at the moment and has some bloody ace applications for certain people. You can read more about keto in THIS POST HERE but here’s the cliff’s notes- It’s a high fat, low carb diet. A few weeks ago when I was doing a WORKSHOP down the coast I stopped by this place called Brio Emporium that make these bloody amazing keto ice cream sundaes and realised that I needed to give that jazz a roll at home. So here’s me rollin’….

Now the base of this recipe is keto, so you can just leave it at that and be all #keto….buuutttt I was feeling kinda festive at the time because #christmas so I went and un-keto’d it by adding cranberries & chocolate & brandy. If you hate fun and don’t want to add the extras then power to you. *On a side note- the addition of booze stops the ice cream from freezing hard once you pop it in the freezer. If you have ever made homemade ice cream without the crappy ingredients you know what I’m talking about. About 1/4 cup of alcohol, vodka works well and adds no taste, will keep it from freezing like a rock. If you want to leave it out you’ll just need to let it soften on the bench for at least 15 mins before you try & dig in.

keto-ice-cream-paleo

I used this HEMP OIL as it’s a top source of omega fats 3, 6 & 9 as well as a cracking source of antioxidants.  I also use THIS COLLAGEN powder. Collagen is basically pure protein and the building blocks for hair, skin, nails, joints etc. It can help restore the firmness in our skin AND it’s cheaper than BOTOX! It’s also bloody tops for gut health and helping to repair leaky gut.

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Keto Ice Cream

Ingredients

  • 4 lge eggs
  • 1/4 cup cashew butter
  • 1/4 cup hemp oil/macadamia oil/coconut oil
  • 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
  • 400 ml full fat coconut cream
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • stevia to taste
  • 1/4 cup collagen powder
  • OPTIONAL EXTRAS
  • 1/4 cup brandy (or rum/vodka)
  • 1/4 cup cranberries
  • 1/4 cup dark choc pieces
  • 1/2 cup maple syrup (only if NOT using stevia)

Instructions

  1. Basic Keto Ice Cream-

    Add the eggs, coconut cream, stevia, collagen, cashew butter, oil, vanilla & apple cider vinegar to a blender and blitz until smooth. 

  2. Pour into your ice cream maker and let it work it's magic. Once it's done, transfer into a container with a lid and pop it in the freezer to set.... Or just eat it like soft serve right now. 

  3. Festive Ice Cream-

    Add the Add the eggs, coconut cream, maple syrup, collagen, cashew butter, oil, vanilla, brandy & apple cider vinegar to a blender and blitz until smooth.

  4. Stir through the choc chips & cranberries then pour into your ice cream maker following the same steps above. 

White Christmas Rocky Road (paleo. vegan)

I’ve got to say it. I’ve outdone myself this time. Just TRY and only eat one piece! I DARE YOU.

This recipe came about because I went to The Source Bulk Foods to get salt. That’s it. Just salt. Needless to say I’m going to need to ban myself from going there unattended again. Oh don’t get me wrong, I got salt, two types actually because who doesn’t need multiple types of salt….. I also got almond meal, coconut flour, cranberries, sour cherries, epsom salts, cacao butter, cashews, macadamias, coconut, pistachios, some sort of beetroot latte powder (WTF!?), some quinoa pasta, puffed brown rice, probably other things that I can’t remember that I also didn’t need. That place is an abyss of bulk bin heaven and every time I’d look in a new bin I’d think “hell yes I need puffed amaranth” despite absolutely NOT requiring such things. My wallet left substantially emptier but my belly is now very full PLUS you now have a recipe for this bundle of mouth-party joy because I had to find a use for some of these ingredients that I absolutely HAD to have.

paleo-vegan-white-christmas-slice

This reminds me of a cross between Darrel Lea White Chocolate Rocky Road & old school White Christmas. The beauty of this recipe is that it can totally be a choose-your-own-adventure kinda deal. Don’t like macadamias? (Clearly you are a MASSIVE weirdo but I’m not here to judge…. but I kind am. Weirdo) but you can sub them for something else, same with most of the other ad-in’s. Obviously don’t mess with the base of cacao butter & cashew butter because you’ll royally F things up but the rest, you do you. I had some raspberry kombucha jellies to add in but I got all overwhelmed with all the new ingredients and totally forgot about them!

vegan-white-christmas-rocky-road-paleo

Anyhow, on with the recipe. Enjoy it & don’t forget to tag me in any of your creations on FACEBOOK or INSTAGRAM!

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Ingredients

  • 1/3 cup pistachios, lightly toasted
  • 1/3 cup macadamias, lightly toasted
  • 1 1/2 cup cashew butter
  • 150 g cacao butter
  • 1/2 cup dried sour cherries
  • 1/4 cup dried cranberries
  • 1/2 cup shredded coconut, lightly toasted
  • 1 pinch salt
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/4-1/2 cup maple syrup or rice malt syrup (depending on your sweetness preference)
  • 1 cup fresh rasberries
  • 1 cup fresh blueberries

Instructions

  1. Melt together the cacao butter & cashew butter in a saucepan then set aside to cool to room temperature. 

  2. Transfer to a large bowl & add the maple syrup and stir well to combine.

  3.  Gently stir through the remaining ingredients then pour into a baking paper lined tray. Pop it in the fridge or freezer to set before cutting. 

  4. This can be stored in the fridge for a week (as IF you’re not going to eat it before then) or in the freezer for a couple of months.

 

Is Keto the New Black?

Keto-this & Keto-that is being bandied about like Lindsay Lohan’s antics circa 2006. So what’s the deal? Is this a legit way of eating? Should you try it? Should I try it? Who else is trying it? What does it do? What doesn’t it do? Will going keto solve all my life problems…. I’d say it’s unlikely but what it won’t solve could probably be remedied by coconut oil. Because magical.

I have read A LOT about ketosis and even dabbled in it myself. I found that it worked for me when incorporating some exogenous ketones via SUPPLEMENT into my life as that allowed me to not have to limit or caution around my veggie & fruit intake as my diet is generally pretty low carb anyway. What I do notice (in the absence of ketone supplements) when going too low carb (for me) is that my sleep gets a bit messed up, my energy wains in my workouts & I get some low thyroid type symptoms like really cold extremities so I have found that some starchy carbs with my dinner helps with that. I stopped taking any ketone supplements because whilst effective, I found the taste bloody awful and first & foremost I’m a foodie so it’s a no from me. They are sweetened with stevia and have the most incredibly sweet flavour that really put me off. Plenty of people swear by it though so give it a whirl if you like.

Anyway, I have had loads of people ask me about keto & so I asked my Yoda. He’s the guy I ask all things that I can’t seem to come to a solid answer to with my own research. Chris is one of the smartest people I have ever met & also one of the fittest. I’m hoping if I keep doing his PrimalThenics program his smarts & fitness will rub off on me too! So here’s his take on all things KETO.

Keto is certainly the new buzz word on the internet, being one of the most googled words in 2017.

The human body has two main fuel sources, glucose (from carbohydrates or excessive protein) or beta oxidation (ketones from the breakdown of fats).

Ketosis is the use of ketones from the breakdown of fats as your primary source of fuel and is often referred to as being ‘fat adapted’. For everyone who has not been on a ketogenic diet you operate on glucose as your main source of energy. To convert your body to using fat as your fuel source requires some specific work.

Let me explain what that requires and if it is right for you!

Changing your fuel source?

Think of your body as a car. Glucose is unleaded petrol and gets you roughly 500km a tank, whereas ketones are diesel petrol and get you 1000km a tank! To convert your car from unleaded petrol to diesel means you are going to have to take it to the car shop for a major overhaul of its engine. That work is going to take a few days and cost you a bit of money.

Bear with me.

When converting from glucose as your primary fuel source, (after a lifetime of eating carbs, potatoes, rice and breakfast cereals – remember the food pyramid anyone!), is going to cost you a bit of effort and discomfort. Things like the Keto-Flu, where you feel like you have the flu (people have been hospitalised before they thought they were so sick), fatigue, headaches and constipation can occur. Not to mention drastic reduction in athletic performance, initially anyway.

But you must remember, you are changing your engine here. You are changing your physiology, from that of carb dependant, to fat using. It requires a cost. 

How do you do this?

To convert to beta oxidation (ketosis) requires the absence of sugars and the limiting of total carbs to under about 20-50grams of carbohydrates a day. IN doing so, the body undergoes a few rough days of glucose depletion until it can start to get fats broken down in the liver which results in the body’s secondary fuel source, Ketones.

Can you speed this process up?

Yes, there are a few ways you can speed this up.

First. You can deplete your body’s stores of glucose faster than it takes for the body to utilise its’ own stores passively. To do this, you would partake of a few high intensity training sessions, such as sprint running, HIIT circuits or weight lifting. 

Two. Increase your fat intake, particularly the intake of Medium Chain Triglycerides (MCT oils) which are more easily converted to ketones in the body than other fats.  (Paleo hero mcts)

Three. Minimise lifestyle stressors such as sleep deprivation, stress etc, to provide the body with an easier opportunity to undergo a major physiological change. And, also, to make it easier on yourself!

Four. You can utilise exogenous ketones, as in pharmaceutically manufactured ketone bodies, to provide an immediate source of ketones which will aid in fighting off the effects of the ‘engine change’ (Keto flu), and almost trick your body into producing its own ketone bodies faster. 

Is this right for me?

Ketogenic dieting has long been regarded as particularly effective for a number of health ailments, including:

  • Epilepsy
  • Weight loss
  • Improved insulin sensitivity and blood sugar stabilization

Recent claims have touted it as effective for:

  • Mood stabilization in mental/depressive disorders
  • Improved mental focus
  • Improved energy levels, oxygen capacity, endurance levels
  • Migraine treatment
  • Neuro-protective benefits in seizure disorders; ADHD; Alzheimer ’s disease, memory and cognitive function; Parkinson’s Disease and Multiple Sclerosis
  • Stroke prevention; cardiovascular disease; metabolic syndrome management; improved cholesterol levels
  • Inflammation management
  • Endurance enhancement

Whilst some are calling it one of the nutritional breakthroughs of our time!

What foods are involved?

Eating fat, and not eating carbs!

It is that simple, you eat fats, and you limit all intake of carbs: 75% fat, 20% protein, 5% carbohydrates from leafy vegetables. Generally, this equates to about under 20grams of carbs consumed per day. It is also important to note that these carbs should be solely sourced from green leafy vegetables. Most people make some serious errors when beginning the diet by either consuming too much fat, the wrong kind of fat and or too much protein. Deep fried foods should be eliminated

Snack Options:

  • Go-to fat foods for snacking
  • Avocados
  • Cheese ( don’t go overboard)
  • Eggs
  • Dark chocolate (at night snack)
  • Fish
  • Nuts – macadamias, almonds, walnuts, pecans,
  • Chia seeds
  • Olive oil
  • Coconut oil,
  • Flour – coconut, almond,
  • Butter, full fat cream,
  • Fatty meat- pork belly, bacon, beef, chicken thigh,
  • Celery and low sugar peanut butter
  • MCT oils
  • meats

As good as it may seem I don’t recommend super strict keto for everyone.

  1. It can be very hard to maintain
  2. It can be restrictive
  3. It can be done very badly
  4. If you are prone to severe anxiety
  5. It can influence your cholesterol levels (which in itself don’t mean anything, but if you do that with a lot of “falling off the wagon” and carb binging it can lead to negative side effects)
  6. It needs a very nuanced approach to manage salt intake, monitoring of bloods, health parameters etc
  7. It often has less vegetables than I would want you to eat
  8. Is it really necessary for you?
  9. What are your goals?

But, let me state this, you don’t need to eat carbs!

Yes, that’s right, even for weights training, HIIT training, endurance ultra-marathons carbs are not necessary. But I will leave that argument for another day.! But go as close to keto as you can whilst eating as many carbohydrates from my vegetables as you can.

If you are an everyday warrior like me, then I would recommend going for a more moderate approach, that still involves very limited number of carbs, that can better suit your life. Regardless of your performance goals or health aspirations, fat loss must be a priority. Having a lean muscular physique doesn’t mean having the body of cover model, but rather possessing appropriate fat stores and adequate physical capabilities.

Having increased body fat causes hormonal and immune system changes associated with fatigue, aches and pains, recurrent infections, allergies and toxicity, unbalanced hormone profile, and menstrual problems.

Medical research has repeatedly demonstrated the link between increased body fat and the progression of degenerative diseases like Cardio-Vascular Disease, diabetes and cancer. What is disregarded or poorly understood by most are the primary causative factors of excess fat storage. The two main causes being a sedentary lifestyle and excess refined carbohydrates.

Eliminating carbohydrates in a structured manner will change your life, because, losing fat will change your life. Not only will debilitating physical symptoms improve but you will also notice changes in daily energy levels and an improved zest for life!

Such positive physical and physiological changes will also affect you mentally and emotionally, for the better. One of the most noticeable aspects of fat loss and its effects on the body is the increased ‘ease of day’. ‘Ease of day’, refers to how much easier your daily activities will feel.

So, my advice to many is: Go for an approach that you can manage, that is appropriate for your life and goals and that has far less carbs than you currently consume.

Chris, The Health and Fitness Guy.

 

Corned Beef Fritters (paleo. gf. df)

I used to HATE corned beef as a kid. Detest it. I don’t even know why. I don’t think I have actually ever eaten it in my adult life until a few weeks ago when I tried it at a cafe as a brekkie wrap and it was awesome! So obviously now I’m obsessed and I went straight to the butcher and bought one. I’ve got be honest, I didn’t love how it initially turned out as the way they had brined it was WAAAAAYYYY too salty for my liking (and I love salt) so I’m going to get my mits on some silverside from Young Farmers and brine my own and just see how that pans out for me. Anyway, the point is, I wasn’t digging it but I HATE wasting food and I remember my mum used to make corned beef fritters so, that’s what happened. Fritters. The small human loved them. Smashed them both hot and cold. They make a cracking snack, brekkie or dinner option and they freeze like absolute champions. Obviously you can sub in other veggies if you want. This is what I had in the fridge.

1/2 red onion, diced
2 cups finely chopped cauliflower
1/2 cup grated carrot
1/2 cup grated zucchini
1 cup grated sweet potato
2 cups diced corned beef
4 large eggs
1 1/2 cups almond meal
Salt & pepper
Optional- 1/2-1 tsp turmeric
Coconut oil/ghee/ butter for cooking

Makes 12-15 fritters

Mix all ingredients together in a big bowl. Heat a large frying pan over low-med heat, add about 1/2 tbs of cooking fat. Form the batter into fritters, don’t worry if they don’t look like they are going to hold together, they will as they cook. Pop the fritters in the pan, cook on one side then flip, after flipping use the back of your spatula to press them down a little flatter. Cook on other side until browned.

 

Keto Love Bites (paleo. keto. vegan)

If you haven’t been hiding under a rock, you will have probably heard the term ‘keto’ being bandied about in health & fitness land. It’s the new black but it’s not a new concept. A Keto diet has been around for yonks and it’s been used therapeutically for treating obesity, epilepsy, diabetes, Alzheimers and many other conditions for a very long time. It’s basic premise is eating high fat &  very low carb kicking your body into ketosis where it will use your fat for fuel. Benefits  vary from person to person but  weight loss, blood sugar control, mental focus & clarity, and increased energy are generally seen. As EVERY body is different, the amount of carbohydrate you can tolerate before you are no longer in ketosis varies and it’s something that each individual needs to work out for themselves. Am I doing Keto? No. Do I generally eat a pretty high fat (healthy fats) and low-mod carb diet anyway? Yes. That feels good for me. Going super low carb (to be in ketosis) doesn’t feel great for me, I lack energy, my sleep suffers and my hormones go a bit wacky so, for me, making sure that I have a bit of fruit or some good starchy veggies as my carb sources works. Anyway, keto or not, these treats are a GREAT source of healthy fats and taste bloody tops. The fats will keep you satiated plus you feel like you are eating chocolate and that’s always a win in my book. Go forth and keto. Or don’t. You do you. 

3 tbs nut butter/coconut butter
1 tbs tahini

OPTIONAL- 3-4 drop peppermint or orange oil

1/4 cup coconut oil/butter/ghee/ cacao butter

1 tbs raw cacao
2 tbs collagen powder (or protein powder)

Melt together the nut butter, tahini & coconut oil, stir in everything else then spoon into chocolate moulds or pour into a baking paper lined tray. Pop it in the fridge to set for at least 4 hours.

** If you don’t give 2 hoots about being keto-friendly and need some sweetness you can add 1-2 tbs of raw honey, pure maple syrup or rice malt syrup if you fancy.

 

The Truth About Acai Bowls

Acai bowls are the latest health food fad doing the rounds. They are popping up in every cafe & health food shop and you can even make them yourself at home (which I absolutely recommend so you can jam some extra nutrition in).  Touted by many as the perfect healthy meal they come in a massive variety of flavours and colours but let me let you in on a secret….. That ain’t no perfect brekkie.

OK, before a war breaks out let me firstly say, I like acai bowls. They are delicious. It’s like having ice cream for breakfast and who wouldn’t love to do that…. It’s got about the same amount of sugar as having ice cream for breakfast too. Yep, on average an acai bowl will have about 40g of sugar and up to about 75g depending on your toppings.  The same size bowl of full fat vanilla ice cream has about 39g of sugar. At least the ice cream has a good dose of fat in there too to at least help slow that insulin spike a little. Yes, the acai is natural sugar from fruit but as far as your body and your insulin response are concerned, it’s still sugar and if your body doesn’t need it, it’s likely going straight to your ar$e, or thighs, or stomach or wherever else your body thinks it would like to store it for the next famine you encounter. That’s basically an entire days recommended sugar intake in one bowl.

So what’s my point? My point is, don’t get caught up in the hype and the very clever marketing. If you give zero flying ducks (*side note; why does auto-correct think I want to write ‘ducks’? Seriously, how often do I refer to ducks to make it think that is a legitimate swap?) about your sugar intake, you are not trying to minimise your body fat, you don’t mind feeling hungry again an hour later, and you have $16 to drop on a bowl of sugar every morning, go your hardest, I’m not talking to you. If you do care about the above points I’d suggest that acai bowls are a sometimes food, a treat for your weekend brekkie out or a refuel after you have smashed out a gruelling workout, enjoy it for sure but don’t kid yourself into thinking it’s health food.

A few things I want to point out, not all acai is made equal. Homemade is absolutely the best because you can whack in a heap of great things to add way more nutrition. My tips would be cinnamon to help curb the insulin spike, collagen powder or protein powder to add some protein and help with skin, hair, joints etc, frozen zucchini or spinach to add some greens, use some coconut cream instead of coconut water to get some healthy fats in there- this will help keep you fuller for longer and assist with blood sugar regulation.

Different brands of acai also contain different things, it’s a good idea to ask. My pick is the Amazonia Pure . Some contain soy lethicin, some contain added sugar or syrups to make it more ‘scoopable’, some contain colours and additives to mask the fact that is has oxidised and gone brown instead of being the deep purple of a non-oxidised acai. So that’s it from me, eat your acai, or don’t, I have zero ducks to give, it’s your body to nourish how you see fit.

 

 

Roasted Cabbage & Kale Warm Salad (paleo. gf. df. vegan)

This recipe came about because I was making KIMCHI & I bought the world’s largest cabbage, not even exaggerating, and ended up with approximately 3.5kg of cabbage leftover. Steamed cabbage as a menu item does NOT spin my tyres in any way so I thought ‘let’s roast this gear and see what happens’. This happened and it’s a win I think. Cabbage is actually a cracking veggie if you can make it taste good. You can use purple/red cabbage too and give yourself an even bigger beta-carotene hit. Cabbage is low carb, high fibre and a good source of vitamin K, A & C.

1/2 small green cabbage, shredded
1 lge red onion, roughly sliced
1/2 bunch kale, shredded
3 small green apples, roughly sliced
Good pinch salt
Good lug of olive oil
OPTIONAL- If you tolerate dairy, some chunks of goats cheese would be a stellar topping to add for the last 15 mins in the oven.

Preheat oven to 180C. Line a baking tray with some baking paper and add all the ingredients. Mix well with your hands so that everything has a good coating of olive oil. Bake for approx 1 hr. This can be served warm or cold.

Bangin’ Chicken (paleo)

Seriously banging. This chicken packs a massive flavour punch and will absolutely have your tastebuds doing a happy dance. I don’t even know what else to tell. It’s easy. It’s delicious. You can probably substitute the chicken for some bangin’ pork or beef. If you do, tell me how banging it is on a scale of “relatively banging” to “total mouth party, will you marry me? Banging”. Obviously, I expect the latter. Unless you balls-up the recipe for which I take no responsibility. Go forth & bang.

1/3 cup coconut oil (or ghee)
1/2 kg chicken thighs, chopped
2 rashers bacon, diced
1 red onion, diced
6 garlic cloves, crushed
1 capsicum, chopped
good handful of baby spinach
1 tbsp cumin powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon powder
1/4 tsp ginger powder
1/4 tsp cloves powder
1/4 tsp cardamon powder
Juice 1 lemon
1/2 tsp salt

Heat up the oil in a large frying pan that has a lid over a medium heat. If you don’t have a lid you can use a sheet of alfoil to act like one. Add the chicken, bacon, garlic, onion and salt and allow to brown. Add all the remaining ingredients, aside from the capsicum & spinach and mix well. Cover, reduce the heat to low and allow to cook for 20 mins, stirring occasionally. Add the capsicum & spinach, stir though and allow to cook uncovered for another 5 mins before serving.

Kale, Cranberry & Goats Cheese Salad

I love goats cheese. And cranberries. I’m pretty intolerant to both unfortunately (you can read about my food intolerance testing on the blog) but sometimes I just like to throw caution to the wind, say fu$k it,  and do a number on myself anyway. I’m a rebel moron like that.

Dairy tends to cause me both a pretty immediate gut bloating reaction and a next-few-days skin break out reaction. It’s awesome. Cranberries make my throat all scratchy and itchy, like hayfever, or anaphylaxis. Also awesome. What I have discovered with both of these particular intolerances is that they tend to be dose related. A few cranberries every now and again in my Paleo Hero Muesli, no problem. Cranberry sauce, massive problem.  A bit of cheese once every now and then, all good. A piece of cheesecake and I’ll be rolling around on the floor, clutching my guts, looking 9 months pregnant fairly quickly. All great lessons. And still I sometimes say ‘screw this, pass me the gelati’.

1 bunch kale, core removed & shredded

1/2 cup dried cranberries

4-6 radishes, finely sliced

100g goats cheese (omit if you don’t do well with dairy)

good pinch salt

1 tbs apple cider vinegar

3 tbs olive oil

To remove the core from your kale stalks you just pretty much grab the bottom of the stalk and pull upwards toward the tip of the leaf. The leafy bits should come off and the fiberous stem should stay there. It’s no big deal if a few bits of stem end up in there so don’t spend hours doing this. You don’t have time for that $hit. Move on. Add the kale, salt, ACV & olive oil to a big bowl and get in there with your hands, give it a good massage like its had a big day at work. A couple of minutes should do the trick, you just want it to be a little softer so it doesn’t taste like you are eating horse chaff.

Add the rest of the ingredients, give it a little toss & you are good to go. In hindsight, I think some toasted flaked almonds or walnuts would have been awesome in here too. Whatever floats your boat.